October 27, 2003
snake in the hiz-ouse

So we're watching TV last night, and all of a sudden Kat starts yelling "There's a snake in the house! There's a snake in the house! Oh my god! There's a snake in the house!"


So I freak out a little bit, because Yoshi is playing with it, and when I say playing I mean biting, or course. And I've always been afraid that I'm going to run into a Copperhead some day, even though they aren't real common in the Philadelphia part of Pennsylvania.

So we pull out the cheese to coax him away from it, which works like a charm (ah, the power of cheese) so of course Willie has to get in the act.

He's easier to get the snake away from, and Kathy uses one of Yoshi's bones to scoop the snake into a plastic sandwich bag. This was a very small snake, think baby size.

Then the dialogue starts (not verbatim):

Me: I think it's, like, a baby python.

Kat: Python? It looks more like a boa constrictor.

Me: Er, of course when I said python I was using that as a placeholder for "constrictor-type snake."

Kat: (rolls eyes)

Me: What do we do with it? (looks around for a spare aquarium which is regrettably not at hand)

Kat: I could take it to work with me tomorrow, but I'm really busy... we could keep it in a jar or something...

Me: But it needs to breathe!

Kat: (looks increasingly pained) No shit, I don't know what you want me to tell you. Look, why not put it back outside?

Me: But it's a baby!

Kat: It came from outside, look I don't have time to take care of it tomorrow, so if you keep it, you figure out what to do with it.

Me: (Quickly evaluating how much kinship I feel with things herpetological) Hmmm... I guess we really can't take on a pet boa constrictor now...

Kat: Don't let it go near the house, I don't want it coming back.

Me: I guess I just feel bad, cause I had a pet snake once and it died.

Kat: You're so funny--"but it's a baby!" (starts laughing at me)

Me: (opens the front door) Okay, let's go buddy.

Kat: Don't let it go near the house, I don't want it coming back.

I took him across the "moat" (aka the canal that inconveniently runs through out backyard) and let him go on the stone wall near the water, figuring the little tropical boa had a slim chance of survival. Better than vs. Yoshi and Willie, but still pretty grim.

During some down time at work I decided to do a little googling, and I've now decided that it was not a baby boa at all, but rather a baby Nerodia sipedon, aka the Northern Water Snake.

Apparently, they're pretty common to our neck of the woods, and they do just fine in the Pennsylvania winter, so I don't have to worry that our buddy won't be able to survive...unless he comes back in the house, in which case it's all up to the benevolence of Yoshi, which is not the best deal you can find, believe me.

Especially when you seem like some sort of neat, interactive dog-toy. That tastes like chicken.

Posted by illovich at October 27, 2003 12:50 PM
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